Feelings of Regret
by Kamikaze-Rose
Summary: Kirara regrets the events that took place 2 years ago. But maybe a divine wind will blow and along with it, bring the one person she longs to see the most. .
1. Kirara

**This is pretty much the first Fanfic I've ever written with my own two hands so please be gentle. . I have a weird feeling that no one will even read it LOL so please prove me wrong !I don't own Samurai 7 or Seven Samurai the awesome and genius Akira Kurosawa-san does!**

**Love you guys! Kamikaze-Rose**

**Listening to: Tonight, Tonight, Tonight by Beat Crusaders**

2 years had passed since the Great War between the Samurai and Nobuseri. The remaining samurai had gone their separate ways, but not before giving their fellow Samurai a proper burial. 2 years had gone by since the death of those Samurai. . but also 2 long, agonizing years had gone by since Kirara the Mikumari had rejected the love of Katsushiro Okamoto. She still regretted leaving that wound on his heart.

_Another year gone by and I still can't stop thinking about him_, thought Kirara sadly.

She was standing on a hill looking down at her feet. The graves of the Heroes of Kanna Village.She whispered their names as her eyes fell silently on each mound of dirt.The loud and ridiculous Kikuchiyo, whom Komachi missed sorely, the rice-loving and kind Heihachi, and the quiet and intense Kyuzo. They had all fought a brave battle even Kikuchiyo. Ithad been a blow when the group had lost Gorobei. .and even more so when they had lost the 3Samurai. That only left Kambei, Katsushiro and Shichiroji as the survivors. Shichiroji had hisgirlfriend, Yukino, waiting for him at the Firefly Inn, and after the war ended he went back to bewith her. Kambei and Katsushiro. . just the mere memory of them cause her heart to ache. .

"Katsushiro"whispered Kirara to the wind . She had made a grave mistake when she confused her feelings for Kambei and Katsushiro.

There was one good thing that had occurred over the long 2 years.Kirara was able to sort out her feelings for the 2 samurai. After Kambei rejected her she realized she simply admired him and had confused admiration with love. She only felt pure admiration for him and nothing else. But for Katsushiro she felt love and the need to be with him, tohear his voice. When he left she felt like her heart had been ripped in two. He had asked her to leavewith him but she had said no. She had still been confused about her feelings and didn't want to lie tohim and hurt him. But looking back now. . she regretted it so much. .maybe. . hopefully the Gods would allow her a second chance.

_Maybe. . just maybe Katsushiro will return_ thought Kirara wistfully looking up at the clouding sky. . _Maybe _

A strong wind blew causing Kirara to shiver_. . What is this feeling. . ?_

A.N:

**eh. . . I guess it came out alright. . .I hope you guys liked it hopefully i'll continue it if you guys like it cuz then if you dnt i'll lose interest and never update. .**

**Well yea review if u want . . please?**

**Even if they're flames I'll still appreciate that u read my story cuz that's the way I am!!! ) well u guys r still awesome !!!!**


	2. Katsushiro

**Hello!! Well here's chapter 2! I was supposed to type this up a long time ago but im extremely lazy so eh-heh. . plus this rly good Bleach fanfic called Hierarchy was updated and I just had to read it!!**

**So. . enjoy! Music gets me in the mood to type so. .**

Listening to: **Los by Rammstein**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Sam.7/7 Sam.. If I did I would bring back Gorobei,Heihachi, Kyuzo and Kikuchiyo, back from the dead. . but then that would make them zombies. . and I dnt like zombies. .

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Several miles away from Kanna Village, a young samurai was busy training when a strong wind blew through the surrounding area.Katsushiro Okamoto shivered involuntarily.What is this ominous feeling he thought.unconsciously gripping his katana. He shook it off and continued with his training. .

'It's nothing', he said out loud

Katsushiro had grown over the last two years. His skill as a samurai had increased and he no longer hesitated in fights. .He stopped training for awhile and let his thoughts wander to the villagehe had left behind 2 years ago. . Kanna. .he remembered his fallen comrades. .and Gorobei, who had been the first to fall in battle, and then he remembered. .Kirara, the girl he had given his heart to.He thought back to the time he had kissed her. It had felt so right, like they belonged together! But his feelings were not reciprocated.

He shut his eyes slowly, letting the memories wash over him.Kirara had chosen Kambei over him.The words still stung even though quite a few years had passed. _She_ had chosen _him_, he thought bitterly. He sighed. He mustn't hold Kambei in contempt, nor Kirara. One cannot help whom they fall in love with. (even if it's an old fart like Kambei lol j/k) It's neither one of their faults but it still hurt so damn bad..

_ Wham_. Katsushiro hit a nearby tree with his katana.

**_ A Samurai does not live in the past, he looks forward and awaits his next battle, he recited._**

"It's no use,"he said to himself, " I can't keep reminiscing about the past. I will never see Kanna Village, or Kirara, ever again".

Katsushiro continued hitting the tree. . each blow becoming increasingly harder, unaware of the chain of events that would soon be taking place.

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**My note!**

Argh! That sucked!! I know this one is shorter than the first chapter but I wrote the 2nd chapter right after I posted the 1st chp. The 3rd chapter. . I will work rly hard to make it longer I swear! And I gotta move the plot more so that should be fun and interesting . .so please bear with me. . and ill update as soon as I think the chp. is worthy enough thank you! well thats it love u guys!

**Happy Thanksgiving!! may your holiday season be full of cheer and happiness! and thanx for readin'! -- **


	3. More Katsushiro

Author's Note**: Hello, my not-so-constant reader. After such a long wait, here is Chapter 3, entitled More Katsushiro.**

**I do not own Samurai 7**; my friends, if I did, I would not be writing Fan Fiction, now would I? (Haha, just a little joke to liven the mood…) I think I will be getting serious with this story, so any inconsistencies from the prior chapters should be overlooked please!

Listening to: The Dark Clouds Above

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After practice, Katsushiro, still shaken over that ominous wind, decided to get cleaned up.

He had been living the life of a samurai and a nomad, moving from place to place for the past two years. The food and supplies he had were all gifts from the villages he helped. His sword, of course, was still the one from many years ago.

He had attempted to forge a life of his own after losing his comrades in the fight with the Nobuseri in Kanna Village. He carried the ghosts of his compatriots with him, but they did not haunt him. Rather, it was like carrying a pleasant weight that served as a reminder that there were decent samurai out there; Samurai who died in order to defend the helpless.

Katsushiro planned his nomadic route far from Kanna Village. Even though he could think of all the kind villagers, and his deceased friends without pain, the idea of Kirara, brought a sharp rush of grief. He had kissed her, all but declared that he loved her, and she had rejected him. She instead chose Kambei, and even then, he harbored no hatred for her. He loved her, most ardently, and even after so long, he could not let go.

Katsushiro went over to a stream that was near his campsite, and took off his shirt. He placed it in the cool water and cleaned off the perspiration it had accumulated.

He set his shirt to dry on a nearby tree branch, and rummaged through his pack. He pulled on his haori.

"Come here, Yume," Katsushiro called to his falcon. Yume flew down from a tree behind Katsushiro, and landed on his outstretched arm.

It was all black, with a splotch of red on its breast. He had found it about a year ago, tangled in a fisherman's net. He had trained it, and sometimes relied on what she caught so that he may survive for another day.

"If it wasn't for you, Yume, I'd probably lose my mind", murmured Katsushiro to his bird, lightly stroking it.

Yume peered into Katsushiro's (_geez, it takes me exactly 5 seconds to type his name!_) eyes, and tilted her head, as if confused by what he had spoken. Katsushiro merely laughed.

The sun was slowly sinking into over the western side. Soon, he would have to set up his _kakebuton_ and _makura_. He would have to sleep in his tent, on the cold, hard ground. He didn't mind. He'd been sleeping that way for two years now.

As the sky slowly darkened, Katsushiro set up a small fire, with a small piece of flint and a large stone.

He rubbed his hands together, as the wind grew colder around him.

He stretched, and entered his tent, leaving the flap open, and pulling Yume inside with him. He settled down and pulled the kakebuton closer to himself. He closed his eyes, and let sleep take over.

Katsushiro was walking on the path that led to Kanna Village.

_What am I doing here?_

The village looked much the same as he remembered. But, the damage that had been sustained from the war with the Nobuseri had been repaired, and the village looked pleasant.

He finally wandered deeper into the village. Although the village looked like it had occupants, he had yet to encounter anyone.

As he looked around at all the huts, he vaguely noticed that a fog was beginning to envelope the village.

Soon, he could only see a small amount of the things that were in front of him, and he found himself walking with his arms outstretched.

He began to hear voices whispering to him…

"_Katsushiro……."_

He spun around blindly, only to be met with more fog….

"_Go back…….back…"_

Katsushiro looked towards the direction in which the warning had come from, but could distinguish nothing.

Suddenly, he made out a dark figure coming towards him. He instinctively reached down for his sword, only to have his fingers meet air. He looked down to see that his sword was missing.

Instead, he had nothing to do but wait until the figure drew closer, and he could see what he would have to face up against.

He stood there for several minutes, and when the figure drew nearer, he felt his breath catch in his throat.

It was Kirara.

She walked slowly towards him, never breaking eye-contact with him.

All Katsushiro could do was stand there, dumb-founded, unable to say a thing.

Kirara stopped when she was a mere hand-length away from him. She tentatively reached for his hand, and pulled him slowly to her.

She placed her hands softly on his face, and leaned in, placing her lips tentatively on his.

It wasn't until she moved her lips slightly that he closed his eyes. He raised his arms and placed them around her waist, pulling her closer.

They reveled in the feelings they felt as the kiss went on.

Finally they pulled apart, and Katsushiro looked at her, shocked and confused.

"_I missed you Katsushiro, I missed you…" _

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**AH! I did it! I threw that chapter out from my head, and put it on paper…er… on website?**

**I hope everyone, SacredOrder, CuriousRiz, and MYinnerNINJA (who gave me the will to return to this FF that I had previously thought was gone for good), l enjoyed my little tale. **

**No, really, thanks MYinnerNINJA, for answering all my dumb questions!!**

**Bye~!**

**Until next time! Who knows when I'll come back to this ficcy again…?**


	4. Recurring Dreams and Unwanted Visitors

Author's Note: **Hey everybody! I bring to all three of my readers, Chapter 4 of Feelings of Regret…yay! Hope you guys like it and have fun reading it. Honestly, up to this point, I'm just going with the flow…writing whatever ideas that pop into my head….**

**Well, here goes..thanks to everyone who reviewed..I LURVE YOU GUYS!!**

**Listening to: Bleach Soundtracks; it really helps me write…**

_I do not own Samurai 7, or the Bleach Soundtracks, well, I do, but not like…actually OWNING them…_

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Katsushiro woke up suddenly..

"Oh," he groaned, "It was only a dream.." (**Come on, you guys saw that coming…)**

He shook his head groggily, and lay back down, trying to clutch at the remains of his dream.

It had felt so real. He could still feel where her arms had wrapped around him, how her lips had felt, and how different the sensation was from when he had first kissed her.

He hadn't seen her in years, and yet, she still had reign over his dreams and thoughts.

It was very early in the morning; the sun had not even risen yet, and he knew he would not be able to go back to sleep.

He sighed, and got out of his tent slowly. He walked toward the embankment of the nearby river, thinking he would wash up a bit.

As he walked towards it, Yume fluttered down onto his shoulder from her perch on a tree, and nipped his ear affectionately. Katsushiro stroked her back in response and she cocked her head inquiringly.

"I'm fine Yume, it was just the dream again," he toldYume, always surprised at how she could tell how he was feeling.

He got to the river, sat down, and stared at the reflection of the moon in the water. He looked up and found himself overwhelmed at the vastness of the sky and the many glittering constellations that filled it.

He let out a lament, and in the stillness of the air, the misery and desolation in the sound seemed more pronounced.

A day didn't go by when he didn't think about Kirara, and along with all his thoughts, came many questions.

Did she think about him? Did she suffer like he did, not finding relief from the sorrow even in sleep?

His troubles assailed him day in and day out.

Even in isolation, when he had more time to think and reason, his mind always steered him to the what ifs…

What if she had loved him?

He reclined onto the lightly dewed grass, and continued to look at the stars.

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Miles away from where Katsushiro continued to torture himself with thoughts about Kirara, Kirara herself lay awake.

She woke up every night at the same time and thought about what she had done two years ago.

Katsushiro had kissed her, risking everything, not knowing what her response would be.

With that kiss, he had hoped to start a spark, maybe even a a small flame.

And what had she done?

She had thrown water on that blaze, and along with it, killed his hope.

She had been an idiot. She had been wrong to fall in love with Kambei-sama, she thought she could change him, make him see how much she cared for him, and he in turn had rejected her.

Kirara thought about Katsushiro constantly, as she worked in the rice fields,as she talked to Komachi, who had replaced her as Mikumari of Kanna village.

The day she realized she was in love with Katsushiro, she couldn't find it in herself to continue as Mikumari.

She had a regret, one that she feared she could never change.

Katsushiro probably hated her now, she told herself constantly. Maybe he had found someone who could truly love him.

She would always imagine Katsushiro with someone else, someone who truly deserved him, but after that picture was painted in her head, she would always find her eyes brimming with tears, and a sharp pain in her heart.

The pain would make it hard for her to breathe, and she would wallow in her misery.

But she knew she had no right to feel that way. After all, the one person she had hurt the most, suffered so much more than she would ever.

She was constantly tortured in her dreams. In them, she would be chasing after Katsushiro, always getting close, but never able to reach him.

She had told Komachi about the dreams, hoping she could help her interpret them, but Komachi had no answer. She did not want to hurt her sister's feelings.

Komachi knew her sister was torturing herself by thinking about Katsushiro all the time. She didn't even know she was in love with him until the first time she told her about her dream. But nothing she said made her feel better.

The villagers were all shocked when she became the mikumari, and it became her job to find sources of water. It had been several years since they had made the change, and she was still asked why by many villagers.

She never gave an answer.

Kirara was battling a fight deep within herself, and Komachi knew that if she lost, she would never be the same again.

She knew she had to help her sister out somehow, but she couldn't help but feel that she shouldn't interfere.

She would leave it up to fate, and maybe, if it was meant to be, Katsushiro and Kirara would meet again.

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Katsushiro woke up slowly, barely realizing that he had fallen asleep by the river. His dream was soon forgotten, but was sure to return to him later on in the night.

He got up and stretched out the stiffness in his limbs, as he walked back to his campsite. Immediately he noticed something was wrong. (**of course, he is a samurai folks!!)**

His tent was squashed down on the ground, and his belongings were scattered about. (**also a dead giveaway, I know**)

He knelt down to look at the ground and saw footprints. Judging by the way they had been made, the perpetrators had been in a hurry, as if they had been looking for something….or someone.

He counted the footprints and noted the size differences. There was more than three sets.

He was glad that the night before he had taken his katana with him. It had become a custom for him, ever since he had stayed at a village where his room had caught fire during the night. If he hadn't taken it with him, more than likely the culprits would have stolen it.

Yume fluttered down onto Katsushiro's outstretched arm, (**don't you guys like how she appears all of a sudden, kinda like a…dream…haha**) and she clicked her beak as she turned her neck around, surveying the scene.

Suddenly, she stiffened, and let out an ear-splitting screech, as she flew up in to the air, her wings beating a steady tattoo above him. Immediately, Katsushiro felt the presence of what he undoubtedly knew was his intruder.

His katana was withdrawn from his scabbard already, as he used it to block the sword that had attempted to cut him from behind.

_KLANG! (_**or is it **_**CLANG**_**?)**

(**If possible, read this scene while listening to "Frenzied Battle" , from the Bleach: Memories of Nobody soundtrack, if not, it's okay…**)

"Well, well, well…looks like the little samurai _was_ here.." said the offending bandit.

His sword was the one that had tried to catch Katsushiro off-guard. Keyword: _tried_

"So, you're the one who did all this," Katsushiro muttered through clenched teeth, "Where are all your friends!?"

He spun away from him and tried to find an opening, as he maneuvered his katana, and struck out at the man. As he moved away from him, he got a clearer view of him.

He was a slightly paunchy man, with ruddy cheeks, and a deep gash over his right eye, or, at least the spot where his eye should have been. Judging by the way he was dressed, Katsushiro guessed he was a brigand, and they hardly ever traveled alone.

The man jumped away from Katsushiro's katana, but he still managed to nick his arm as he swung it away.

"I have no idea what you mean!" shouted the man, slightly winded.

Katsushiro advanced toward the man, his sword glinting off the sun's early morning rays, as he spun the it in his hand.

"Don't you know it's rude to strike someone while their back is turned?," asked Katsushiro.

The man started to move back, as Katsushiro's sword _KLANG_ed with his sword, each hit becoming increasingly harder and harder to deflect…

"You know how.._pant pant_..you asked me where my… _pant…_ friends were.._pant_..?" shouted the man, through his labored breathing. (**He's outta shape, remember?)**

Yume let out another ear-splitting scream, but it was too late, as Katsushiro was hit hard over the head.

His last conscious thought , before he hit the ground was, _Damnit…I can still---._

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**A.N..** **Woo! That was hard!! Remind me never to write(or try to) a fight scene again!!**

***ahem* Thanks for all you people that reviewed!!!!!**

**CuriousRiz**…oh, I know! So many typos, luckily, I can honestly say that that was a loooong time ago…

And if there are typos in this chapter… I have no excuse.. But thanks for reading! Really!!

**MYinnerNINJA**…THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP!!..sob..sob… I feel better after you fixed this baby up a bit…

**I wonder what those guys want with Katsushiro….WHAT?! What do you mean I'm the author and I should know!??!**

**I like to be surprised okay!**

**Well…thanks to everyone!! Until next time!! BYE~!**


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